Challenge to Cherish of 2008

I find myself looking for a way to keep teaching and yet to venture out on my own:

Let me start with the possibilities of a future far from home and not in teaching. As you know if you have read about me, I have some physical difficulties (Sjogrens Syndrome). So I am using the internet to network with people who seem to have the gift for turning lemons into lemonade. I am meeting more people on myspace who are doing network marketing and found a few other sites that are inticing me to think outside the parameters set for us by the traditionalists in our lives. If you read the book Who Stole the American Dream, you would agree that we cannot keep trading time for money and that a residual income for the work we do today will be necessary for the work we do in the future. In other words our value today is and should be worth more in the future. The trick is how do we find a way to make that happen. So with these thoughts as the end goal, I realize that there is a better way and that should help me let go of my worries about my traditional teaching contracts with the medical benefits and retirement plan.

Never the less, I had to take a trip to Calabassas to take the State test titled CTEL which stands for California Teacher of English Learners. I finally had to let go of worry about wheter or not I would pass it this time around and just figure out how to 1.) pay for it, 2.) get accomodations for my disabilities, and 3.) just get there. So this summer lended itself to this as my adventures.

When one does not get their teaching contract renewed, even if it is due to budget cuts and this test pending test result, it is still a blow to one's self esteem. I really feel a lagging in my energy due to self doubt. And then there is the added worry of how one will pay their bills. I have an added resentment that the state has figured out how to cheat us of more time and money. So to combat this negativity, I just ate the monetary bullet and thought about my need to get special testing arrangments.

What a relief to get there and find that the State did in fact order a computer with a keyboard and table for me to be able to type my essay portions of the test. On top of that they blessed me with extra time to help level the playing field. I felt strange having never had accomodations for my disability before. The proctors were very accepting and non judgemental of me bringing my own chair, arm swings and book support. It made testing not insurmoutable for me. I would not have been able to do or finish this test without my adaptation devices, the keyboard, and the extra time. It took me nearly 7 hours to finish.

Because I had to be at the testing site by 7:30 a.m., I drove two hours the night before to stay in a hotel only a mile from the testing site. And I knew, after testing for 7 hours, I would not feel well enough to drive home; so, I stayed in the hotel a second night. For the first time in my short life, I had a cell phone when I traveled, thanks to my daughter. So there was a quasi sense of safety on the journey.

The bright side was getting my money's worth for the trip by appreciating all of the following:

One, I was able to be rested and relaxed for the test. Two, the breakfast at the hotel was included, and we're talking eggs, ham, bacon, hash browns, waffles, fruit, and more to chose from and all you can eat. What a treat! The irony is that that morning of the test, after I filled my coffee cup and doctored it with cream and sugar, before I even took a sip, I knocked the whole thing over on the buffet counter. Instead of fixating on what a way to start the day and fret too long over the mess I made, it was a way for my brain to help me acknowledge my need to have adaptation devices for the test. I am clumsy for a reason, and that's okay. I knew tomorrow would come when I had breakfast I could enjoy it without being crunched for time. I had time to fix myelf a waffle then, and handle a coffee then again.~A little but significant thing for me.

Two, after the test, I walked the quaint but wealthy town of Calabassas where they have the historic adobe home and land of the Leonis Family. Of course, knowing me, as I strolled along the side walk, I noticed all of the flora. I thought to myself, "My Goodness, they can grow plants outside that I can only grow indoors in the desert." The street was lined with spider plants, choleuis, ferns, etc. The Magnolia trees were in bloom. I thought to myself how it would be marvelous to grow pots of geraniums again in my life, and avacado trees. I started to open up to the possibilities of living in a more moderate climate. I walked to the grocery store and realized that for every 10 vehicles, 8 of them were mid to large size SUVs. My Jeep fit right in. I walked by a couple real estate offices. "Oh my, they have no shame in posting the price of mega million dollar homes." It dawned on me then that this was the town of many millionaires.

More to come on the Adobe...

Three, I made prior arrangements to meet a friend that evening whom I had not seen in 29 years, Karen from my first college days. We use to take ice skating classes together. We picked up right where we left off it seemed like no time had passed and it was a clear reminder of how we became friends: That ability to flow from one topic to another and to be entralled with what we each had to say. It was energizing. And yet time had gone by: Our kids are adults, we are old enough to be grandparents and have the gray hair to show for it. The topics were germain to health and the pursuit of keeping up with technology and how the socio demographics have changed in the area. It had been along time since I enjoyed such and intellectual conversation. Our visit has made me reflect on what I am missing in relationships and perhaps what I should seek again in my life.

Four, I got to bask in the sun and talk on a cellphone with my daughter before I took a swim. Odd as this may seem to those who take the sun, swim and cell phone for granted. I have not sun baked for the sake of tanning since I was in my 20's. It is clear that swimming in a kidney shaped pool is a novelty to cool off. The cell phone chat some how made me feel important, as if the world could witness that I am loved by someone. Every one always looks glamorous to me lounging with a cell phone. However, my biggest challenge is that it is too hard for me to hold a communication device for long conversations; so, I suppose someday, I will join the ranks of those people who wear Blutoothes (they just seem too Star Trekky for me).

Five, Calabassas is only 2 miles from the Las Virgines Rd. which leads to Malibu. And how often am I that far from home? I had to take advantage of the distance that I had already traveled and head due west through the canyon minimal miles to eat my picnic lunch at Malibu park where the cliffs over look the ocean.

More to come...

Six, and to not back track it mad sense to go south on the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) to Santa Monica with the goal to walk to the end of the Pier.

More to come...

How many Saturdays do you have left?

I read somewhere in an email going round about a man who put marbles is a jar for the amount of Satudays that he would have left in his life. Each week (on Saturday) he would take out a marble to visulize how many weekends he would have left in his life. I think I should do something with this concept.

I feel like I am failing because I cannot do as much as I would like to do with each day and my life. time is running out on the right side of 50. If I get to live to be 100, I might make my goals. But, if my time is up by 75, a quarter of a century is just not long enough.

I need to work smarter and not harder, but damn if the time involved in learning eats away at the time I have left. How I wish I was a millionaire so that I could hire people to help me with the things that I want to accomplish.

How many Saturdays do you have left in your life? I figured out the count down in my life: Based upon the average age of death being 75 years of age, 75-54 = only 21 years times 52 weeks = 1092 Saturdays left. Anything after that will be considered extra time.
To be continued...

Nine Missions in Seven Days

I know that I only get to the blog when I truly have something to share. ' Hopefully there are readers here every now and then to hear.

This Thanksgiving, my daughter, grandkids and I took a trip up the California coast to see as many missions as time would permit. My grandson is in 4th grade, and his class wasn't doing any projects though they were studying California History. My daughter knew how valuable it was for her to see the misions when she was his age. She feels compelled to provide "Living History" experiences for her children. I appreciate this; my parents gave this to me, and I must have done something right too: Misssions yesterday, State Parks today and National Monuments tomorrow. It's important to see as many as we can with the little lifetime we've been given. So many people never get out of their hometown. The world is our oyster...

We are blessed to live in such a young land. It was almost sureal to realize that the Interstate 101 road just 230 years ago was a dirt path way for wagons, and horses carrying pioneers and Indians. The el Camino Real bells were a day's ride apart or with in earshot of each other. That what seems like ancient times is now congested with traffic at main juntures like Sepulvida in Burbank, to Malibu Canyon Rd, then again in Santa Barbara. To ride it at night now and see all of the new automobiles glowing with DVD players in the back seats to entertain relatively weary travelers seems like living science fiction. Can you imagine what Father Junipero Serra and the settlers would think if they saw the territory they established then now?

Imagine riding along this road to the Doobie Brother's tune "China Grove" on an 8-track or the radio with the wind in your hair of a Mustang convertable. Trust me, we feel on top of the world in control and all is at our fingertips. Two hundred years from now we will seem like stone age men. That's what 18th century men were compared to us. They worked with mud to make bricks and hand made rope to raise stones to steeples with cast iron bells that ring certain tones to tell time and call out warning to the villagers. They rejoiced in their archaic ways. I personally, don't own a cell phone. I wondered where all these people have come from today. When God said "Multiply...." we sure took him literally. Who is left that is directly related to these pioneers. Where is our family history? Who knows? Who keeps track of their ancestory.

I know this, whether we are blood relate or not, we are definitely connected. The artifacts housed in these historical buildings are gifts to us. They make us rich when we witness them. The problem is that there are many people who don't get far on these roads to really see what came before them or even where they may have came from. This is a sad affair for our children. If I was rich I would offer field trips to many locales to help the youth of today see with their own eyes how far we have come in just 200 years. I wish I knew which Indian is part of my blood, or who may have shed their blood for me.

I know too, from this trip, life is shorter than we care to admit. We visited friends whom we have not seen in nearly 10 years. When I measure life in terms of their children having grown up already or with kids of their own too, and I see that they have gray hair and to hear that their parents have passed on, well, hell, it's almost over. I am saddened because I have missed a life time with these people already. So I am keenly aware that I have to make the most out the little time I have left. I know I cannot possibly accomplish as much as I would like, but something that leaves a legacy for at least my family should be a valuable like what Father Serra left. So with that in mind, pictures (digital or otherwise) will make way now for videos and blogs on the Internet. It is new age, and I do not want to be left behind. I do not want to be old and say " I am not of this world any longer, or that I do not know what happened to the world." I want to be a part of every cutting edge all the way to the end. I want to live my life to the fullest as if it may end sooner than I am willing or ready, because that is the true reality of it all.
We are less than powder in narrow capsule, swallowed whole in one gulp. I don't want to just be a candfle snuffed out after a dime is donated and a prayer is offerred for my soul. I want my life to matter more to my Great-great-great grandkids. So those of you who have a prayer for strangers, pray that my life will matter for many who come after me. I know we will be long gone, but I want to leave something that many will remember.

So in the weeks to come I want to lay out our trip here and tackle one mision at a time to express the history that I appreciate about each mission we saw as a family. Though we do not practice our ancesteral Catholitheism, I still wanted to tell my grand children how their great and great-great grandmother practiced it.

1. Ventura
2. Santa Miguel
3. Santa Cruz
4. San De Carlos (Carmel by the Sea)
5. San Juan Bautista
6. San Luis Obispo
7. La Purisima
8. Santa Inez
9. Santa Barbara

AS THIS YEAR CLOSED TO AN END, I just HAD TO CALL A CHILDHOOD FRIEND from porochial school. I FOUND MYSELF BURSTING INTO TEARS while TELLING HER THAT I MISSED HER. (IT'S AS IF WE SAID SO LONG FAIR WELL JUST YESTERDAY.) I NEW WHEN SHE MOVED BACK EAST WHEN WE WERE 13 YEARS OLD THAT WE WOULD BE LUCKY TO SEE EACH OTHER 5 MORE TIMES IN OUR LIFE TIME. WE HAVE SEEN EACH OTHER 3 TIMES. WE MAY NOT EVEN GET TWO MORE TIMES TO HUG; WE ARE IN OUR MID 50'S now.

We were raised Catholic, and the roots run deep, and I do appreciate having that personal history. I do want to have another reunion for our 8th grade graduating class. I hope God blesses me with the funds and energy to make it happen again in our capsulated life time. We are due for our 40th reunion this summer.