Me

Me
my 1st year as a "Nana."

Learn to Earn

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Steps Toward My Destiny

Crazy for some to pursue the path of uncertainty and insecurity, but such is sanity for others to drive where they believe they are meant to be. Some day I want to be a philanthropist.  They only way to get a sense of this is to help others reach their goals and dreams with what I currently have which is just me.
 
So I am helping BARE Bully Awareness Resistance Education, Inc. a non profit based out of Huntington Beach. We are preparing for an event where BARE will gain some of the proceeds. And the experience of event planning and marketing is priceless.

Tuesday, August 05, 2014

Get Back, get back to where I once belonged

Holy Moley! It has been ages since I have been here because eBlogger had changed how I access my blogs; my memory fails me when I don't use it.  I don't dwell on how to get back on track; I just get around to trying and trying again to get or do something and then finally get back where I need to be. This makes me think of the Beatles song:

♫♪  http://youtu.be/IoMi8aWLDCs

I have been on a very long journey since March of 2013. It's too much to write about now as I am busy working on a project and working on working.  But suffice to say, I have been and am exactly where I am suppose to be at exactly the right time for my spiritual life on earth.

While in Ventura, Oxnard and Santa Paula, I have made many wonderful friends in the last couple years, and have had some very enriching experiences in Leadership, Vegetable Gardening for FOOD Share and learning about Financial Services with PHP, People helping People, and at Briggs School.  All during this time my mom's health was declining. And, in the process of living and caregiving, I help her resolve many past issues that hurt her.  She was able to go to heaven in Peace. I cannot ask for more than that in my life. And yet God is letting me carry on and knows there will be more requests and blessings that he know I need better than I know that I need for myself.

For example: With my burning arthritis, and onset and increasing foot problems in the last handful of years, I hardly drive and when I have it has been for short distances at a time. But when my teaching contract ended this year, I was not going to pay rent for a cramped room and uncomfortable life style when I did not have new income coming in.  at the same time I was on a mission to get to Idaho for my daughter's wedding. Little did I know that I would get turn around in the night sky and end up in Provo, Bountiful, Logan Utah and Paris Idaho. I little but super personal miracle happened there for me.  So for now, I will leave you with this thought: God is watching over us.
 
♫♪  http://youtu.be/LLPj2h0N3bU

My mom was a huge history buff.  So much so that I believe she has lived many lives and been through history time and time again as a warrior. She was brave to face the end of live and lived the best she could.  She and my dad are truly soul mates and they are together again. On the day of her death, I had a job interview at Briggs School at 8:30 AM; Mom died 8 hours later; Eight hours after while having breakfast with family, I got the call with the offer to work Briggs. Not knowing where I would go since my mom and I had a dependent symbiotic relationship, I was stunned at God's timing!

Family did not realize at the time and thought I would have to move to Idaho. I took the offer because the timing of it was uncanny! One of my sister's had texted me months before mom died she "hoped" I knew that I was doing God's work." by taking care of mom. My mom was able to talk a lot while I lived with her.  She processed a life time of memories. She recovered the essence of who her soul has always been. And, one of the things in history that she spent a lot of time talking about was the Civil War. Mom had many books on the subject and a map showing the divisions between the North and South.

That week, the family had to start the process of dividing up my parents belonging. I am not sure if anyone remembered I was /am a teacher. I let go of the idea myself. It did not make sense for me to take much since most of my teaching materials are in storage.  It made more sense to let a lot go to younger teachers in our family. I did not know what grades or subjects or with whom I would be teaching. But, a still small voice inside me said to gingerly take the map of the Civil War Boundaries of the closet door in my mom's spare-room and put it in my teacher briefcase. Much to my delight, one of my partner teachers is a master at teaching 8th grade History. She exposed the students to the Common-core Standards without using a text book.  She tied all the facets of the politics and the reason people had to fight on both sides and cross referenced graphic articles, images and books.  The discussions students had were in-depth and engaged a lot of perspectives. But, she needed a good illustration of the where the South and north were divided. I had it!   It still moves my soul to say this that I said to the lead teacher, "You need this for your class. It use to hang in my mom's home.  She would love the way you teach history. My mom and I would be honored for you to keep this." Sharing our tears and hugs, she accepted and had it laminated. She hung this in her room with the other images. By the time she shared videos about the Civil War I asked her if she had ever seen the movie Shenandoah with Jimmy Stewart. She had not. Someday I will get her the DVD.

By the end of this school year, students showered me with lots of love and respect, more than I could ever imagine. These are students with whom I would like to follow on their journeys. After studying the Revolutionary War and the Civil War, some of the students seemed to know that this teacher is preparing them for the future possibility of war in our own back yards, and that war has various personal effects on people whether or not we are on the frontlines.

In the meantime the year came to a close and I had to go on with my life journey. As I got lost in the night to wake up driving my car with the east on what I thought was my west side, I got way-laid at a hospital due to sleep deprivation.  This cost me to miss my daughter's wedding. After getting out in Provo Utah, I resumed traveling north. I stumbled on the places that God designed for me to see. One of the spots was while driving slowly on a sleepy Sunday in Bountiful, Utah where I happen to look to the west side of the road, Hwy 89, to see my financial services company's logo on the window of a multiple story building. I turned around and left my calling card.  I was excited and feel blessed to have stumbled on this! Not wanting to get lost again, the next place was Logan Utah because map and the road signs were not matching. I ask a nice young man working at Carl's Junior if he could read maps. (Most places I went people were blown away that I did not have a GPS device.) This guy did not skip a beat and told me he use to be a boy scout... we discarded the map and he gave me directions orally with descriptions of the terrain. I followed them and they were spot on! I told him that I needed to get to Jackson Hole by night fall to make it to Yellowstone the next day and then across Montana to get to the panhandle of Idaho. (This is an adventure for a 60 year old disabled woman.) He warned me that it was a long ride to Wyoming. And with a somber look, he said he had not traveled in a long time. My heart sank for him; a young man should not have to be anchored down. He has been on my heart ever since. As I went to the left (more east again) into a canyon, it narrowed with the Logan River on my right, just as he had said. The river was  full flowing fast for the month of July. After miles and miles, I got to the peak of the canyon, and just as the scout depicted, there was the vista of vast placid waters of Bear Lake. Several very tiny towns were about every 15 to 20 minutes along the western shorelines. I stopped at one in the bottom east corner of Idaho, called Paris.  There was what felt like a trading post and a large park like area with a an old historical brick  building and a few monuments. I stopped there for a snack and heard some beautiful music coming out of the building as if it were calling to me to enter. I walk slowly with my limp and apprehensively entered the sanctuary. It turned out to be a Mormon Tabernacle with artifacts in the foyer, from the pioneers and original settlers of Paris. Just as I crossed the threshold into the church, I heard and saw, way up in the rafters by the large organ pipes, the choir women on the left and men on the right, flooded the building with the striking sound of the chorus to Shenandoah.

♫♪  http://youtu.be/MpjLLXwMhFo

I, in turn, burst into tears! My eyes watered for about an hour as I sat in the back of the church behind a pillar and listened to them practice. There were only two other people in the pews. I did not realize how much I had been through since March of 2013 to the summer of 2014 until then.  But, God knew and he knew where I needed to be at this moment in time and space. God knew/knows how passionate I am about my fellow man and country.

Some family and friends were concerned and wanted to stop me from driving so far since they know I have trouble driving. Physical pain is my constant companion whether I am on a job or sleeping in bed; so I felt what did it matter if I am driving to where I wanted to go. (It would be worse to be force to do labor for some oppressive organization. I had a B-day party before I left and supportive friends gathered round me and gifted me with gas and food money and books to feed my soul. I told them "Don't worry about me."

I desperately needed to see the western states that my mom and dad had driven my siblings and me through in our elementary school years. This is something I felt induced to do for my spiritual well being! Crazy as some people thought I was to embark on this trip alone, I made it to Jackson Hole in time to get the last room at Motel 6.  Half of the next day, was spent traveling to Yellowstone. Where I waited in a front row seat for 45 minutes to see Old Faithful erupt. Enjoying being in the present, I met a young man there from the past territory of my mom's kin, Kentucky. My mind kept reflecting on the richness may parents gave me and my sisters and brother by taking us on road trips! My mom was brought to California to live and have us. Doctors said she would have died in the winter weather back east.  My dad's parents pioneered their way here too. His dad was a railroad mail carrier and his mom was a Harvey Girl. I don't believe our personal histories are all coincidence. I do believe I am sensitive to connecting the dots that God lays before me. I think now that Mom and Dad may be with spiritually at some of these precious moments. I had a picnic with college mates from Montana near the boarder of Canada at the top of Idaho,  From Idaho, after spending time with my grandchildren, daughter and her new husband, I went to the southwest dips of Puget Sound see the grandma of one of my Ventura garden volunteer's because of that strong soulful connection that I feel for her in my heart. Then a must see was another college mate in Vancouver, WA to share the joy of her sweet dogs! I could not resist the  pull I felt to see one of my dad's cousin in Oregon in Grant's Pass. And, onward to see the coastal Redwoods just because I could not remember seeing them with my parents.

Trailer to Redwood Highway  http://youtu.be/Wk2mBihLZDw

After having a front tire blow out and meeting a nice man who son insisted he come back around the freeway off and on ramps to check on me, eventually I made it to Ukiah to see my colligates' (now from Montana) parents. We are all getting up there in years. I am blessed to have so many friends. I was getting tired from staying with friends on the fly for one night at a time, so before getting home to Ventura, I stayed with my long time friend, from an old security job, in Arroyo Grande for nearly a week to rest. I applied online along the way for various jobs, including teaching. All said and done, I need to pass these ways again several times over!

Now fast forward to mid summer time, I made it back to Ventura with not much to offer people other than myself, my teaching and people skills. I spent a week with a professional colleague and love collaborating with her on her photography and our self-growth.  Ventura community could not offer something immediately for my longer term needs. So prayers go up and answers come down. Someone dear to me in Orange County called me to help with a project she has undertaken. And, that may be the next story.