Challenge to Cherish of 2008

I find myself looking for a way to keep teaching and yet to venture out on my own:

Let me start with the possibilities of a future far from home and not in teaching. As you know if you have read about me, I have some physical difficulties (Sjogrens Syndrome). So I am using the internet to network with people who seem to have the gift for turning lemons into lemonade. I am meeting more people on myspace who are doing network marketing and found a few other sites that are inticing me to think outside the parameters set for us by the traditionalists in our lives. If you read the book Who Stole the American Dream, you would agree that we cannot keep trading time for money and that a residual income for the work we do today will be necessary for the work we do in the future. In other words our value today is and should be worth more in the future. The trick is how do we find a way to make that happen. So with these thoughts as the end goal, I realize that there is a better way and that should help me let go of my worries about my traditional teaching contracts with the medical benefits and retirement plan.

Never the less, I had to take a trip to Calabassas to take the State test titled CTEL which stands for California Teacher of English Learners. I finally had to let go of worry about wheter or not I would pass it this time around and just figure out how to 1.) pay for it, 2.) get accomodations for my disabilities, and 3.) just get there. So this summer lended itself to this as my adventures.

When one does not get their teaching contract renewed, even if it is due to budget cuts and this test pending test result, it is still a blow to one's self esteem. I really feel a lagging in my energy due to self doubt. And then there is the added worry of how one will pay their bills. I have an added resentment that the state has figured out how to cheat us of more time and money. So to combat this negativity, I just ate the monetary bullet and thought about my need to get special testing arrangments.

What a relief to get there and find that the State did in fact order a computer with a keyboard and table for me to be able to type my essay portions of the test. On top of that they blessed me with extra time to help level the playing field. I felt strange having never had accomodations for my disability before. The proctors were very accepting and non judgemental of me bringing my own chair, arm swings and book support. It made testing not insurmoutable for me. I would not have been able to do or finish this test without my adaptation devices, the keyboard, and the extra time. It took me nearly 7 hours to finish.

Because I had to be at the testing site by 7:30 a.m., I drove two hours the night before to stay in a hotel only a mile from the testing site. And I knew, after testing for 7 hours, I would not feel well enough to drive home; so, I stayed in the hotel a second night. For the first time in my short life, I had a cell phone when I traveled, thanks to my daughter. So there was a quasi sense of safety on the journey.

The bright side was getting my money's worth for the trip by appreciating all of the following:

One, I was able to be rested and relaxed for the test. Two, the breakfast at the hotel was included, and we're talking eggs, ham, bacon, hash browns, waffles, fruit, and more to chose from and all you can eat. What a treat! The irony is that that morning of the test, after I filled my coffee cup and doctored it with cream and sugar, before I even took a sip, I knocked the whole thing over on the buffet counter. Instead of fixating on what a way to start the day and fret too long over the mess I made, it was a way for my brain to help me acknowledge my need to have adaptation devices for the test. I am clumsy for a reason, and that's okay. I knew tomorrow would come when I had breakfast I could enjoy it without being crunched for time. I had time to fix myelf a waffle then, and handle a coffee then again.~A little but significant thing for me.

Two, after the test, I walked the quaint but wealthy town of Calabassas where they have the historic adobe home and land of the Leonis Family. Of course, knowing me, as I strolled along the side walk, I noticed all of the flora. I thought to myself, "My Goodness, they can grow plants outside that I can only grow indoors in the desert." The street was lined with spider plants, choleuis, ferns, etc. The Magnolia trees were in bloom. I thought to myself how it would be marvelous to grow pots of geraniums again in my life, and avacado trees. I started to open up to the possibilities of living in a more moderate climate. I walked to the grocery store and realized that for every 10 vehicles, 8 of them were mid to large size SUVs. My Jeep fit right in. I walked by a couple real estate offices. "Oh my, they have no shame in posting the price of mega million dollar homes." It dawned on me then that this was the town of many millionaires.

More to come on the Adobe...

Three, I made prior arrangements to meet a friend that evening whom I had not seen in 29 years, Karen from my first college days. We use to take ice skating classes together. We picked up right where we left off it seemed like no time had passed and it was a clear reminder of how we became friends: That ability to flow from one topic to another and to be entralled with what we each had to say. It was energizing. And yet time had gone by: Our kids are adults, we are old enough to be grandparents and have the gray hair to show for it. The topics were germain to health and the pursuit of keeping up with technology and how the socio demographics have changed in the area. It had been along time since I enjoyed such and intellectual conversation. Our visit has made me reflect on what I am missing in relationships and perhaps what I should seek again in my life.

Four, I got to bask in the sun and talk on a cellphone with my daughter before I took a swim. Odd as this may seem to those who take the sun, swim and cell phone for granted. I have not sun baked for the sake of tanning since I was in my 20's. It is clear that swimming in a kidney shaped pool is a novelty to cool off. The cell phone chat some how made me feel important, as if the world could witness that I am loved by someone. Every one always looks glamorous to me lounging with a cell phone. However, my biggest challenge is that it is too hard for me to hold a communication device for long conversations; so, I suppose someday, I will join the ranks of those people who wear Blutoothes (they just seem too Star Trekky for me).

Five, Calabassas is only 2 miles from the Las Virgines Rd. which leads to Malibu. And how often am I that far from home? I had to take advantage of the distance that I had already traveled and head due west through the canyon minimal miles to eat my picnic lunch at Malibu park where the cliffs over look the ocean.

More to come...

Six, and to not back track it mad sense to go south on the Pacific Coast Highway (PCH) to Santa Monica with the goal to walk to the end of the Pier.

More to come...