Me

Me
my 1st year as a "Nana."

Learn to Earn

Friday, October 13, 2006

TIME

Time: If you don't use it you lose it. Confession: It has been so long since I have been on this site, I have totally forgotten how to use it. So this is like a test run to see where this ends up. I had forgotten about this until a girlfriend, whom I dearly love and miss, dropped me an email in response to one I left her in December of '05 to check out my Blog here. She thrilled me last week with a compliment: "This is awesome ...." I take the compliment highly as she is a credentialed teacher, and she is a linguist of sorts have become a speech therapist. Donna, this one is for you!

Good, I mean really true friends will pass the test of time. Time is eternally relative to them. They can go months, years, and eons and pick up right where they left off. Some may think this is a shame, but it is a necessary fact of life on earth. Life is so friggin' short that if a loved one moves across the country and you cannot make the treck to see them, but once every decade, you may be lucky to see them 5 more times in this life. I think distance and time teach us to prepare for eternity. Hell, they could live in the same town but be so busy with their earthly responsibilities, that you might see them at Christmas or a wedding or lastly at their funeral. At least, in what is called heaven, we won't have to worry about funerals or possibly being too late. I'm sure there is something much better than TBO (tvo?) there. If we spend forever together, there is more time than we will know what to do with, which ultimately means there is no time--"No time to lose" there is quite different than losing time here.

Infinity cannot be measured--Except in the sense that if a friend is a soul bonded to yours forever, they are larger than life itself. If in an afterlife we have an unfamilar form, when we meet in that demension, we will still recognize each other and feel as we always have and perhaps better--relieved to be loose of the bonds that tie us down or hold us back here.

I will admit that I have burnt some bridges here, and I am hoping heaven is big enough that I don't run into other people like old boyfriends or exhusband types. But maybe in heaven, I won't feel or remember the painful actions of those who hurt me. Something will be better than sex there. So it is with meloncohly that I write this: you saw the writing on the wall many years ago and tried to steer me away from a head on collision with the fate that was before me. I have crashed, ignited and burned myself as well as him. The vile sounds that came out of me were to scare him from ever coming near me again. I know his temptest manipulations will always suck me into his false pretentious game. The cruelty of his intentions are that he really does not care how much it hurts me. I don't believe what he says, when he says he did not mean to cause me grief. It's just a way of life for him, a normalcy to have many women. Now I see it as malicious.

Regardless of my pain and hurt, a good friend would not do what he did. They would not use me and toss me aside when I was of no use to them. They just live their lives the best they can with integrity! They are compassionate and understanding without ulterior motives. They have wisdom to give advice and the strength of heart to watch us fall, but be there with a helping word to lift us up again. That, my friend, I cannot live without.

Time might heal, but it helps to get off of the wheel that keeps the clock ticking. With you, I don't even have to know how to tell time, digital, fractional, nor hour glass or 3-minute timer. You're a good egg! "Let's celebrate and have a good time..... Everyone around the world.... It's all right." Make plans for the New Years Eve. I want to stop grieving.