A Tribute to My Dad's Legacy

The moment my dad fell in love with my mom, we became the luckiest people on the planet. He set an example of what characteristics make a good husband, father and life-long friend. His love for family is beyond measure. He gave us experiences that can never be taken away:

From the planning and hosting of huge parties, camping-excursions, and many other enriching projects, he modeled valuable work-ethics: He taught us how to be successful in life.

He taught us that “life is not about how many breaths we take, but about how many moments take our breath away.” An example of a breath taking moment is the vista of Yosemite. It is my favorite because he and mom went up the face of Half Dome together. He taught us bravery and perseverance when we hiked up trails to triumph when we reached the top. He gave us a snap-shot of geography when all four of us stood in the corner of four states. He intrigued us by driving over the Continental Divide and under the Wawona Tree. Because of our dad, we are fortunate to have witnessed the power of geysers and to have seen the majesty of the Grand Tetons. When I was a teen, we gained new found respect for God’s grace and Grizzlies when one moseyed under and around my hammock while I was sleeping!

Here is a man who feared God; my dad feared that he would not survive his first of three neck surgeries; he prayed with all his might to be able to hold his first grand-baby. God blessed him with 29 more years to lift up 11 grandchildren: My daughter who is the first (oldest), all her cousins, as well as his two great-grandchildren, who are my grandchildren.

Nearly every “morning” he sang the sweetest song to all of us that he had learned from his kindergarten teacher, "Good Morning to you; good morning to you. We're all in our places with sun-shiney faces. Good moring to you!" We sing it to his great-grand children; they will likely sing it to his great-great grandchildren. (This song is significant because kindergarten is where he and mom met.)

They were not “ships passing in the night;” they are soul-mates for life! This is his legacy: Love, with all that we have, through the last second of our lives. (He and mom were blessed, perhaps the luckiest couple on earth, to have been able to kissed on his last breath.)

I Did It My Way

I just want to be me through and through-- no holds barred! I have spent the day listening to music that makes me feel good and that inspires me to live my dreams. I would rather be dead if I could not listen to my music when I want to or sing when I want to or get up and dance when I feel like it. I am no longer frustrated with a situation; I am letting go.

I like to be happy, and if things don't always go according to how I expect, I still want to treat people with grace and kindness. I know people can get a lot more with honey than vinegar. But I do not want to be a mouse in a kitchen corner barely making a pip or squeak. I do know that there are some battles not worth picking and that people need to just be. Be who they are. Exist.

If I were to critique every move they make, that is not fair to them and vise versa. One of my main goals in life is to be kind and kind-er all of the time. To be revered, ultimately, is to be empowered. Attraction: sometimes the very thing we are attracted to are the qualities we do not have in ourself. But, somethimes (more often than not) the obesrvations we make that we find distasteful are the very things we have in ourselves. So the truth seems to hurt.

If we don't like negativity in others, should that not mean that we also do not like that trait in ourselves, hum? Well, I think that it is true. So how do we get past our own criticisms and change our own faults or learn to accept that fault in others?

At N E rate, I would like to face up and start each morning making people feel good even if they did not give me the right direction, best service or assistance. What sweat is it off my neck to allow them to be human and just roll with the ups and downs of the circumstance? No sweat, no sweat at all to be sweet to everyone. There is no need to bully, boss, scold, raise one's voice, roll our eyes and other things to indicate distaste. If I actually had to taste a lemon it is hard not to make a face.

So how do we kindly let someone know that we are uncomfortable, embarassed or threatened by what they do? If we use our normal voice without facial expressions, we are not believed. It is when we raise volume, stomp our foot or show outrage that we usually get the reaction we desire (cater to me or I will raise a stink). Humh.

I think that if enough humans learned to respond appropriately to boisterously-gruff people, maybe they would learn to not throw tempertantrums. [Who on earth has the stamin for this? Not me, I am no Mother Teresa] Does that mean we treat them like parenting books advise us to treat toddlers. Heck no. We are talking about grown-ups. I have heard it is effective to set boundaries and consequences if a line is crossed.

But what does this put at risk? The end of a business or partnership, loss of a client or relationship? Sad to say usually yes. (Unless your a married couple who has this figured out.)

A fact of life: People do not have to tolerate negative vibrations. But, if you can't get out of the kitchen with the person change the kind of heat you are cooking with: Kill 'em with kindness. Coals, hot ones at that, are what kindness can feel like to people who want to ruffle your feathers or get their way by protesting. They tend to be the ones that get more upset, and then eventually, they leave you alone, quit or stop doing business with you. And, you won't mind if they leave when they are abusive whenever they have entered your environment. I always like to see the sign at a counter, "We reserve the right to refuse service."

How can a person stay mad at you if you are nothing but kind? Well they can because it is just who they are. When they continue to be that way, then I guess you have to look for another kitchen to work in. In the mean time, still be kind. Hold your head high and know that you did nothing wrong. [And know that to them, they probably did nothing wrong either.] It's a matter of styles and strategies. Find one that fits you strong enough that you will not be shaken by another persons way of manipulating a situation.

Search for the people who lift you up and lift up others around them. If the checker is having a hard time, show some empathy. If the waitress forgets your request, be gracious since you are not in their skin at that moment.

For God's sake, can't we just be nice no matter what. If a business really messed up, what good does it do to get mad? Does it lower blood pressure like a pressure cooker that is released at it's boiling point? Maybe a little, but the pressure is still high enough to make a screaming scene until the pressure is safely released. Become a slow cooker, and allow your organ meats (mind & heart) to soften your soul and still keep your flavor and savvey. Allow people to lift your lid now and then to smell your aroma and stir your consistency and taste if you are bitter or sweet. The cook might be able to add an ingredient to help your recipe for peace. With any luck you won't stick to the pot by getting too hot.! Or not. It is really up to each of us to handle how we stew. I hope this help give folks food for thought.